There are some of us who are always living in panic — jumping from one crisis to another; one drama to another. You’d think our lives may be a TV show and that we are here to play some character on the stage of life. Oh, if only we had the spotlight and the good life, wouldn’t everything be perfect then?
The Japanese have a special relationship with beauty. For them, things are neither complete nor perfect. The culture, in general, pursues perfection and is very precise in business and social etiquette but in art, they admire a certain lack of perfection. Known as wabi-sabi (侘 寂), an imperfection is seen as an aesthetic described as one of beauty that is imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete. The reasoning is that nothing lasts. Nothing is finished. Nothing is perfect.
Have we simply been hypnotized to believe that the way to get love and meaning in our life is through our success, physical beauty and how we appear? As a child, did we learn that chasing perfection was the goal? How could anyone expect parents who carry their own wounds and trauma — and who were taught to pursue superficial success at all costs — guide children to a healthy life? When can we stop pursuing approval or love through perfect looks or perfect behavior, and let real and raw, authentic beauty shine through? Is it when we get in touch with our tenderness and our pain that we can let go of the illusion of perfection?
Being positive all the time is not salvation as it is a misguided form of prefabricated perfection. It is in not holding back our pain, sadness of grief that our true beauty and joy can be liberated from our minds and hearts. It is in the appreciation of being human with all the imperfections that come with it that love naturally is experienced. There is no need to struggle for being perfectly beautiful and attracting the right people and circumstances into our life.
Is it not enough to be self-aware of our gifts and curious about what you want to experiment and experience? So, what are you attracting into your life, and what would you like to attract simply by being yourself? What’s your relationship with perfection and beauty? How close or far are you to understanding your own wabi-sabi (侘 寂)?
Perfection is a state we are taught to aspire to but it is not very realistic or plausible. When we strive for perfection, we quickly get caught in our hamster wheel again. Many New Age gurus will tell you that you are perfect as you are. Perfection is a manmade illusion. Yet, another definition of perfection is wholeness and wholeness is more attainable. It means the ability to naturally integrate pieces of ourselves in any given situation or circumstance to function harmoniously.
Universal law teaches us that wholeness heals and fragmentation weakens. What are the parts that keep you separate and divided within yourself, and how can you make yourself feel whole?
Most of us have brilliant ideas but to make them real takes self-knowledge, perseverance and dedication. And I don’t mean building a perfect business and selling it for millions or billions of dollars. We have very few examples of people staying true to our core because in our world, the heroes who made it in someone else’s game are the ones celebrated. The perfect business growth makes up the headlines of news reports, which mostly focuses on entertainment, business and sports. If you were an alien who just landed on our planet, you would quickly learn (and maybe question) the importance of being perfect in every aspect of life. What’s your relationship with being perfect? Is it healthy or toxic to your wellbeing?
Most people can either come up with great ideas or have the know how to bring their ideas to fruition and work with others. We rarely have the skills to do both, which is why it’s so powerful when we can create together. It is the old age adage of art versus commerce. And, yet this is the perfection, we’ve been conditioned to strive for. Some of us were conditioned that if we only tap into our so-called superpowers, we could do it all. But we are now asking questions and wondering why we were taught that being superwoman, for example, is even healthy? Many of us don’t believe in the power of superheroes and want to get real when it comes to how much we take on.
It is necessary to stay grounded in reality and respect the parameters of “the game.” What do I mean by this? At the end of the day, no matter how much time we spend imagining it, we cannot flap our arms and fly. No matter how much people tell you that you create your own reality, or that time doesn’t exist, the same people will not pick up a brick and hit their head with it since in physical reality, they will surely feel plain and possibly bleed. You can fantasize about what you want, but you have to be realistic about your energy flow and know you can bring your vision to life with those who want to build and create with you. But as we’ve explored in these books, how you do it is up to you, and can shift when you see it as your biggest opportunity.
You can strive for perfection but make sure you don’t turn whatever you are creating — from a relationship, to a healthier body to launching a new business to starting a garden — into an unachievable ideal. Reflect on the purpose of your creation, who it will benefit and the impact it will have on your life, or society. In creating with your imagination, balance your thoughts between perfection and being practical. In other words, if you put too much energy on being perfect, it can often kill your imagination by making you believe it has to fit into a perfect box to be successful.
Life changes when we become aware that we are enough and understand when enough is enough, when it comes to every aspect of life from money to friends and love. So, what is your enough? And do you know that to live your own life, on your own terms, you are enough!
Excerpt from F🖤ck the Bucket List for the Health Conscious: Trusting Your Heart (Book 3). Book 2 has an entire Expedition on Are You Enough?
The YOU ARE ENOUGH campaign is a donation-based mental health awareness initiative launched by Cathy Caplener in Los Angeles on July 1, 2020. The mission of the campaign is to raise awareness and create a virtual and physical support system by launching billboards and use other mediums to share these three powerful and supportive words throughout the nation. Cathy is working with mental health practitioners, educators, and corporate sponsors to create support systems for those who are dealing with mental health issues while also striving to raise awareness about how we can work together to combat mental health and wellness issues in our country. Cathy is looking for corporate sponsors to help get more billboards up as well as to integrate mental health awareness programs in your companies. More information can be found on Facebook @urenoughasyouare, Instagram @self.enough, and YouTube @ You Are Enough Billboard Campaign.