On Being Real
Being real is the foundation of the world we are creating. And that’s very different than where we have been. Being real means, we open ourselves up and a skill that will be far more key is our ability to have tough conversations about what matters.
Today, we ask each other, how are you? And too often, we don’t listen to the response or offer how we really feel. It’s what is known in our current society as transactional politeness or niceness. It often masks real emotions and an ability to truly connect. Sometimes, we even practice this with ourselves—not being able to express how we truly feel. And when we keep feelings bottled up inside, we end up making ourselves ill.
Have you ever found yourself listening to a monologue or a rant when what you truly needed was a conversation? Have you been taught not to cut someone off and listen to a monologue even though you’re actually not listening anymore?
Being Real is Where We Are Headed
Here is the big shift in the healthy world we are creating: more of us are showing up as ourselves and expect those around us to accept us as we are. That’s what being real is all about. Healthy dialogue and connection are key to being real.
We want to express ourselves freely. We have let go of being offended because when we are having open two-way dialogue, we are in creation of possibilities. Our intentions are no longer about winning or putting anyone down. Why would we even want to live in conflict when we can create together?
And we know we are with our tribe—healthy people who accept us also as we are—when there is no need to correct or be corrected. We are fully aware of the harm that reckless speech can cause and we no longer engage in old world norms or stories.
When we put down our swords, whether at work or at home, conversation flows with ease. Being grounded allows us to connect in dialogue. And as conscious creators, we engage rather than defend or attack. We are tapped into our emotions and yet, accountable, vulnerable and authentic. We get to laugh at ourselves and grow with each other.
Because each of us has been exposed to toxicity, we can now appreciate what it feels like to be understood. When we are in healthy dialogue, we give each other permission to gently interject when we need to—it’s no longer one person talking and another responding but an opportunity to create together. And we get to establish our unique, healthy rhythm of questioning and discourse.
Young People Guide Us
Watch young children and you will see them openly playing together after only meeting someone recently. Children are curious and there is an ease once the focus is on playing. Conversations gush and there is not a lot of self-editing or censoring taking place. Often, we can experience pure joy of these exchanges.
Every relationship we have is a choice of where we invest our energy. By spending time together, we get to learn what we are each made of. And often, conflict allows us to choose whether we stay or go. In the new world, we don’t need to suffer through life anymore. Is it time to invest in relationships where we feel seen, respected, challenged and valued?
We get to weave our relationships into supportive networks and webs. It takes investment to find our people, work through opportunities and transform together with a foundation of healthy dialogue.
Trust, relationships and community are the currencies of our time. When we truly trust ourselves, so much is possible.
Strength comes from our heart, which is why turning the volume down on the noise around us is a choice. It allows us to listen to the whispers of our heart. And the heart never lies.