Caring Enough is Personal
Our world is changing and maybe instead of riding the waves, caring enough means that we face ourselves and each other in healthy ways.
There is a belief now that says, “Just be kind, you never know what someone else may be going through.” But do we ever ask ourselves, why don’t we know? And how did we get to a place where so many people don’t openly share ourselves?
Yesterday, I experienced several online posts about the loss of a child to suicide or drugs. I read statements like “the lines are blurring between my professional life and personal life. I need to share that my child left the planet.”
And in one of those threads (notice, the taxonomy we created to hide the fact that we can have open conversations, we call it a thread!), a young man posted his condolence. He also shared that he has attempted to take his own life because he is struggling to find his place in the world. And some offered help and would you know it, some judged him as being “inappropriate” by taking away a mother’s sorrow.
Perhaps, they didn’t consider that it could be another mother’s sorrow if no one listened and offered him support?
Caring Enough is A Choice
There are many reasons why suicide rates are at an all time high around the globe right now, at all ages, genders and other demographics. There is a frequency of despair, of wanting to leave that is calling us to question everything.
We are dealing with huge mental health issues now for many reasons. But when we take a look at the source of our anguish, we learn that suppressing who we are is unhealthy. Playing a role in a story, and pretending, does not need to be a daily habit.
What if the bar we set is our own and we focus instead on our wellbeing and make enough space and time to listen and be here?
A beautiful young woman shared with me a few days ago that she is struggling. Our conversation began with her telling me, “My younger cousin is over there. She is the hot, pretty, smart one.” After some questions and listening, we openly talked about why she felt she wasn’t enough. And where that belief originated in her life. It was simply two women having an open conversation at a gathering where we talked about what she was going through.
Imagine what happens when self-love is always part of us and we don’t need to protect our true self from being rejected or constantly needing to be accepted? Perhaps when we do, we create a healthy sense of community where we don’t need to fit in or change who we are?
Change is An Inside “Job”
What if we knew what someone is going through by caring enough to not only listen but let go of the deep conditioning to be someone?
And when we tap into ourselves, the question is how do we want to show up for ourselves and each other? What is our opportunity, since we have spent enough energy on trying to solve problems?
What is our individual and collective opportunity to create a world where so many souls choose to stay and experience our beauty?
We have so many “life coaches” today and yet so many people are making other choices? Are we understanding what we actually need?
Someone close to me left the planet after losing a job. And I have spent a big chunk of my life afterwards, listening, speaking and writing about why I don’t want anyone to equate our self-worth with what we “do” for a living. For us who stay, we miss the people who choose to leave. And yet, the societal pressure to fit in is often too much to handle.
This is also why I co-authored an article on “lifeworking,” where work is just part of life. We shed light that work-life balance is a myth. There is only life and this is our greatest opportunity to become whole; no division needs to come with us. So maybe instead of asking people, “what do you do?” we can create healthy questions that drive our connection and conversation?
What if We Matter?
What if caring enough means living our values? Perhaps we will be more open about what we are going through and have unknown ripples?
And maybe in sacred listening circles, we are able to openly share ourselves and truly heal? Can we let go of our pain and wounds instead of carrying them with us everywhere we go?
Imagine a world where there is no need to pretend and nothing to regret?
Caring enough is our own story to author.