Conflict As A State of Mind
Go to any image search right now and look for an image on conflict and it will tell you everything about our culture.
Some days, even though there are people around us, we may feel alone and misunderstood. It happens to all of us at some point.
The question is whether we stay in this space or not.
Some people are incredibly eloquent, intellectual and smooth but for some of us that is no longer enough. We want to be around whole people who are also curious, playful and willing to trek into the unknown. More and more people want to live in communities that bridge existing divides but getting there is another trek.
When we stop trying to please or play a role, a kind and compassionate human being emerges that understands we are never alone.
And when we have many, the leaders of our world will also emerge with a healthy level of consciousness about life and why we are truly here at this moment.
Letting Go Means Becoming Aware
But without letting go, we stay in Groundhog Day and have the same actors, directors, producers, dramas, comedies, mysteries and thrillers show up in our lives.
Much of the harm we currently inflict on ourselves and others stems from needing to be heard, needing to be right and following some archaic manual of what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior.
In this manual, we try to prevent conflict because it is deemed bad. But what if it is not conflict and disagreements mean that we truly need to listen?
Not in polite ways or how we have been indoctrinated to have conversations. What if raising our voice, to a certain degree, is actually healthy as it allows us to release growing stress in our bodies? What if we experimented and found ways that actually work for us and play with how we connect? What if there are healthy ways to deal with conflict?
What’s Beyond Conflict?
Can we communicate from a place of compassion and understanding?
When we choose to, we can have breakthroughs and also take self-accountability for how we respond. In conflicts, we have an opportunity to know ourselves better.
In every moment of adversity, we have a choice: will we grow or will we act out and stay in the blame-shame dance?
And the truth is that when we are in our power, there is not much conflict as we stop taking on other people’s hurt and pain. It’s not easy but possible.
Imagine if we didn’t need to impress anyone or be liked? Can we walk around for an hour, day, week or month without caring how someone perceives us? Of course, with love and kindness to ourselves and not doing harm to another.
But what if we judged less, or not all? What if we let go of shame and blame? What if we don’t mean to offend or be offended? What if no one needed to correct us or impose their worldview and beliefs on us?
What space would we create instead? How would we spend our lives now? Who will we wish well and leave behind and what will the relationship with ourselves look like?