Edges and Boundaries
When it comes to boundaries, there are a few elements. One is knowing what we are willing to put up with, and what’s not ours. Setting boundaries involves understanding and communicating our own needs, values, and limits.
And another element is coloring outside the lines and being able to become aware of new opportunities. Going way beyond challenges, issues and problems. Not letting anything or anyone box us in.
Because our boundaries are forming as we take each breath. We no longer put up with people’s shenanigans. It takes courage to set boundaries that allow us to be daring and free. We no longer want to disappoint ourselves.
What’s Weighing Us Down?
In the current world, boundaries are important as it is easy to get swept away by false promises. We may get a job we think is our dream, only to find ourselves working a nightmare.
By being expected to work at all hours, we end up having very little time for anything else. Our health—physical, emotional and mental—gets battered. But we work for a reputable company and have a big title. Are we truly successful?
Someone who we believe is a ‘good’ friend is actually depleting our energy. Every moment spent with them is filled with complaints about everything and everyone. They are mired in the a past of victimhood and it’s a 24/7 channel of misery. But if we walk away, are we failing? asks the current conditioning. Shouldn’t we be ‘good’ friends and take in all the guilt, blame and fears they dish out, which is not ours?
And what happens when we realize they share personal information that was meant only for them with other people? Do we simply stay quiet and burn ourselves out? What happens when boundaries are no longer about acceptable behaviors and morph into having healthy relationships where we can be open and honest? And are we daring enough to accept that whoever can’t handle it, can continue on without us.
Sometimes people overstep our boundaries because they’re unaware. But if we’ve shared what we need and they ignore it, it’s a clear sign of how little they value us. If they complain to others about us and expand their rage or blame, we can step out of the drama. It’s up to us to set our boundaries. No one else will do it for us.
What if boundaries are opportunities to strengthen our relationships by better understanding each other. And if there is no accountability, then maybe the relationship is not for us?
Paulo Coelho suggests that, “When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you’re not saying ‘no’ to yourself.”
When it comes to boundaries, the question is: what are we willing to put up with? And maybe another one is, what are we daring enough to embrace?