Just as a hermit crab changes its shell throughout its life, finding new ones that better fit its growing body, we too embrace change in our lives, especially in our relationships. The shell that once provided comfort may no longer serve us as we move through life. It’s entirely healthy to seek a healthier fit for our evolving selves.
Research highlights a fascinating insight: our relationships are a more significant predictor of our health as we age than cholesterol levels, blood pressure, or other medical markers. Relationship satisfaction at age 50 is the strongest predictor of physical health at age 80. The bonds we forge with ourselves, each other, and our natural environment impact our wellbeing.
However, not all relationships are healthy. Ambivalent relationships mix support with negativity and can be more harmful than consistently negative ones. These relationships are unpredictable; they invite us in with warmth but can unexpectedly turn cold, leaving deeper emotional scars. Adam Grant explains that with a clear adversary, we are prepared and guarded. But with a ‘frenemy,’ we remain uncertain, vulnerable to whichever version of them appears—supportive or hurtful.
This inconsistency drains our energy and affects our wellbeing. Yet, we have an opportunity to reflect on who truly nourishes us and who depletes us. Who we let into our heart is the most significant predictor of our mental and physical health.
When we step away from blame and shame and realize there is another path, we have a lot of conditioning to shed..
When we trust our heart, being true to ourselves becomes the cornerstone of genuine relationships. Are you giving yourself permission to never compromise your health and wellbeing? By honoring your needs, you prioritize your health and open the door to unexpected possibilities.
Like the hermit crab, we find new shells—healthy ways to live and connect—that truly fit who we are becoming.