On Being Right

Have you noticed that there are people running around wanting to be right. We may experience them yelling in outrage: “this is not how it’s done!” The noise is so loud as judgements are flooding about how things “should” be done. 

I remember when I was a systems operator in CompuServe—I think it’s called community manager now—part of my job was to moderate conversations. And when people started attacking each other, I stepped in.But the attacks kept coming as so many wanted to win and be right. But at the end of the day, who wins what? 

Isn’t it fascinating how many experts there are  in our world on how to be a perfect politician, business leader, or a citizen?

And yet, look at the state of the world and ask yourself, WTF is truly going on? Why are we continuing to throw sand in each other’s faces like five year olds? What useful purpose does it serve, apart from creating more division, intolerance and hate?

Being An Observer

It’s quite fascinating to be an observer. But can we afford to simply observe and report on who is right and who is wrong? What happens when we judge and take sides? 

What if in the world we are creating, there are no sides? Perhaps when someone needs to be right, we ask, “now that you’re right! What now?”

When two or more sides go to war—whether it’s countries, families, neighbors or factions—what is the end result? As a child of war, I’ve lived this answer. And as I got older, I learned that it is the extremes on both sides that fuel the conflicts by claiming whatever the fight is about. But mostly, the middle wants peace and tranquility. 

But when we feed our children video games of death and destruction, it is no wonder what consumes their tender hearts and minds. And when we ourselves sit on the couch and consume hours and hours of doom and gloom, what happens? We often turn the news off to only watch the latest television series on serial killers or investigative reports of murders. This stuff is streaming into our lives 24/7.

Beyond Being Right

And just like choosing between fast food and clean eating where we know the source of our food supply, there are choices to be made—consciously. Knowing what and who is healthy and unhealthy for our wellbeing is no one’s choice but our own. It is our time to become aware of what we consume in every aspect of our lives. 

Is it perhaps time to stop teaching or learning conflict resolution and begin to find ways to communicate and create healthy connections—with ourselves and each other? Who will take the first step?  

When we get together do we only meet with people like us to talk about the injustices of the world or do we invite diverse perspectives so we can ask questions and listen? 

We get a chance at every moment to construct the quality of our lives when we no longer live in a world of villains and victims. Maybe even our comic book characters bring us examples of a different world that is emerging? 

Maybe we won’t agree with how someone is behaving but instead of criticizing, we do our own work and ask what is it within us that is causing us to judge? 

What if outrage and being right don’t need to come with us on this journey?