Toxic Relationships Are Not for Everyone
Do you ever look at relationships and truly ask yourself whether they are healthy or toxic for you? And, do you ever reflect on past relationships that were unhealthy and ask yourself why you chose to be undervalued or accepted someone else’s pain?
One of the biggest opportunities we face is to ask ourselves questions and get to the root of what is causing us dis-ease.
We are not for everyone and everyone is not for us. Communication is at the heart of relationships and we are not taught to openly engage in dialogue that leads to co-creation. When someone is constantly trying to correct us or fix us, there is limited listening happening. And the truth of the matter is that we have been programmed to accept conflict as a way of life. But we don’t have to, really!
Honoring Our Heart
In our hearts we know when we’re being taken for granted or disrespected. And we get up every morning and go to the toxic work environment or spend another day with a person who is not healthy for our wellbeing.
Some say we should simply suck it up and “put on our big girl or boy panties on.” But that simply perpetuates the inevitable angst and stress that is at the root of toxic relationships.
In the process of pleasing other people, we often lose ourselves. We cannot make everyone happy and some people aren’t meant to be in our life. Life gives us opportunities to practice how to weed our lives of toxic people and situations that harm our wellbeing.
“What if I meet people who don’t like me or the things I do” asked Tiny Dragon.
“You must walk your own path,” said Big Panda.
“Better lose them than lose yourself.”
Choices: Healthy for Toxic for Me?
Many of us are realizing that we are connected but can’t play a role in someone else’s story. The people who love us unconditionally will hold our hand consistently without judgement. Sometimes we need to walk out and walk alone. It no longer matters who is right or wrong as much as knowing who is healthy for us.
When we become self-aware and truly value ourselves, we will not fall into the trap of sucking it up. We will expect people in our lives to lift us up or not be in our lives. People will fall away when we make space. Because there is always a way.
When we grow ourselves, we understand that we are not the same person we used to be. What we used to tolerate may no longer suit us as we become aware when someone is toxic for us.
And it’s interesting while they may choose to pick a fight or bully us, we no longer fight or argue back. Because in their mind they are right and they will do everything in their power to diminish us; often unconsciously.
But we are powerful beings. Part of our power is learning when to walk away from toxic situations, people and anything we consume that is unhealthy.
To be here at this time is to spark creation within us by experimenting and growing as a human being. When we are not practicing and stepping into our power, we give our power away and accept the status quo as the way of life. Then we have victims and bullies around us and stay stuck in a thriller or horror show.
Stepping into Our Power
Someone may deem people as visionaries and leaders but when we get very close to them, we see they are simply human.
And the only way to know who is for us and who isn’t is by spending time and being ourselves.
When someone openly only regards their own system of thought as significant, they are showing us exactly who they are. Often, it is an inner struggle that is playing out right in front of us. And when they continue to insist they are being just and fair, serving the greater good, it is an opportunity to listen to our heart and intuition about whether they truly are.
Let’s not attach ourselves to toxic stories. We can walk away and towards anything when we are free and flexible. Have the courage to practice discernment. Learn to know when you are experiencing a toxic ego who knows no other way than to bring their own pain to others. And remember, everyone is doing the best we can.
And we each have an equal opportunity to decide who we want in our lives, when to walk away from unhealthy people and make space for the unknown. We can only speak for ourselves.
It’s time to know who is healthy and unhealthy for us. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks as only you know your own navigation system. When there is no blame, there are only opportunities to experiment and trek into the unknown. Not everyone is ready to come with us and that’s ok.
Imagine living in a world where we communicate with radical honesty, care and love ourselves and each other so much that there is nothing to fight for or defend. I do. I sometimes forget that not everyone does … yet!