Truly Listening: Unwrapping

Truly listening to each other helps us realize that we never know what anyone is going through unless we ask and listen deeply. And right now when more of us are questioning everything, listening becomes more important.

A person’s “wrapping” may have us make assumptions about them, like when we meet a celebrated actor or athlete. We may believe that a celebrity lives a life of luxury—private jets, luxury resorts, abundance of money and living the life everyone dreams about.

The notion of having it all comprises society’s never ending obsession with fame. And the deep divisions that need healing.

Consider this: more than half of teenagers in the UK do not want a career. They want to be famous. And more than a fifth plan to reach their goal by appearing on a reality TV show.

When it comes to business, many believe CEOs and executives making six to seven figure incomes have it all. I’ve spent a great deal of time with senior executives in all environments—corporate, non-profit and public sector. And what I found when I asked and listened was that while people flocked to them and admired their positions, the executives didn’t know who to trust.

The Current Seduction

Many executives were incredibly lonely because they always played their position and had to mask their true selves. As they didm’t trust many people, I often became their trusted advisor, which gave me a front row seat to their world.

The fanciest restaurants, expense accounts and other successful people were simply wrappers of aspirational success. I also saw non-profit CEOs raise millions of dollars for their cause, and at the same time, spend thousands of dollars on a dinner at the fanciest restaurant in whatever city they were in the world. It wasn’t coming from their wallet and the seduction of it all was easy to get sucked into.

And often, they were highly connected to celebrities and famous people who they invited to these dinners and other functions. They got to rub shoulders with fame and their ego was feeding their own success in being part of the elite.

But when we get to the heart of it, there’s a great deal of emptiness, anxiety and depression. You may have power but at the end of the day, only the psychopaths among us thrive on more power to satisfy insatiable egos. At a certain point, for most of us, it gets old. And numbing ourselves with food, stuff and substances is not sustainable or healthy for anyone. 

Truly Listening: Creating Meaningful Relationships

In our dying world of experts, gurus and status, our beliefs get in our way of truly connecting with people and having open dialogue. We make assumptions and also play the role of being someone else’s audience. But what if we no longer feel fulfilled by playing any role in a scripted reality? What happens when our desire is to go off script and be our true selves in every situation in our life?

Imagine the freedom we give ourselves when it comes to our relationships when we let go of the notion that there is a way we must act or a role we must play. When someone shows up as an asshole in our life, despite their pedigree or affluence, do we need to put with bullshit? Truly listening means that we can cut through the superficial to get to the heart of everything.

Imagine what happens when we give ourselves permission to …

• Trust our heart, truly listen and allow ourselves to break patterns and limiting beliefs
• Remind ourselves that there is no destination and that it is our journey to experience at our own pace and rhythm
• Integrate what we learn and find ways to create meaningful relationships that ignite our passions

And everyone of us is allowed to experience life in our own way. We don’t have to live up to any role or story. In the new world, where we are aware that leadership is not outside ourselves, we step up to our responsibility as creators. 

In the new world that is emerging, listening means connecting deeply. It is an act of true love for ourselves, each other and our planet. Truly listening also means being in tune with the heartbeat of the Earth and living in harmony with Nature.