Why do so many of us automatically say, “sorry”? What are we apologizing for? How have we created so much conflict and angst in our world, and in our own lives? Imagine we become increasingly aware of all our human creations and understand that we can live unapologetic lives?
Elton John released the song “Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word” in 1976. But research finds that for women, sorry is not always the hardest word. To be polite, girls have learned that the “right” and proper thing to do is to say, sorry.
Neuroscientist Tara Swart believes serial apologists mostly do so out of habit. It stems from childhood when we were made to feel apologetic about being wrong. There is a conditioning around how good people act in proper ways. So if the goal is to be good all the time, why do so many of us say sorry so often? What are we truly sorry for? If we didn’t make mistakes, we wouldn’t be here as human beings.
Perhaps in a world of suffering, there’s plenty to be sorry about? In the world today where we are now empathetic, vulnerable and authentic, there is an assumption that by apologizing, there will be a higher chance to restore peace. But perhaps instead we have an opportunity to simply become conscious and intentional in our actions?
And what if each of us decides that apologies, like conflicts and divisions, are a thing of the past? What if we are simply kind, compassionate and empathetic naturally? Maybe it’s in our inherent human nature?
Imagine that there’s no need to be sorry or apologetic anymore. Why? Because it stops us from being who we are and simply taking accountability for our actions. We might even have less bullies or people trying to tell us how to behave when we have open channels of communication. In a world where no one is offended or no longer chooses to take sides, there is so much to explore.
Like any habit, once we become aware, we can also kick the apology habit and step into our power. We can unlearn. And it starts within each of us.
By speaking from our heart, we can create empathy and trust. And yes, sometimes we may need to laugh at some silly action we took. And it’s always fun to have a laugh together and talk about it with compassion and candor. No bullshit required.
Many of the old patterns and paradigms are collapsing as we enter this new era. We no longer need to please or do things at our own expense. It is time for us to connect with people who are on a healthy path who allow us to be who we are.
Because at the end of the day, when we say sorry all day, are we truly sorry? And if the answer is no, maybe it’s time to laugh more and understand what is healthy for our wellbeing. What if we have an opportunity to live our truth unapologetically?
Because when we do, life opens up in ways we never imagined.