Why Winning at All Costs is a Limiting Belief
When we have winners and losers, no one wins for very long. There is a temporary high for winning, a celebration but over time, it fades until the next win.
And when we lose, we can hit rock bottom and it may take a while longer to want to get up again. We are told we need to heal from losses and all kinds of stories that deepen the divides and cause us more suffering.
Because we have built systems (and stories) where we are fighters and warriors of lightness, darkness and everything in between. And there is always a cry for winning and beating the other side. The battle lines are drawn around what is right and what is wrong and the battle cries can be heard in different languages and tongues in every corner of the world.
We mostly believe that success comes from hardships but why are we so obsessed with struggles, hardships and fighting for our lives? French Emperor Napoleon told us that “history is written by the winners.” Playwright William Shakespeare said, “There’s an old saying that applies to me: you can’t lose a game if you don’t play the game.” And comedian George Carlin provided this insight, “It’s never just a game when you’re winning.”
The question is do we really want our lives to be a game; with winners and losers? We own our path when we choose to step out of limiting beliefs that no longer serve us.
What if the Game is Not About Winning?
The truth is that each one of us is so powerful that we can now author healthy stories where we thrive and lift ourselves and each other up. There’s only a need to imagine and face a blank canvass of opportunity.
Winning is a flash of life and the deeper question is why do we so want to win so badly? Isn’t it time to become conscious and understand: 1) Where does that desire stem from? and 2) why have we been wired to achieve and accomplish as individuals?
We’ve already talked about why we can suck less at collaborating, but we are far from creating systems that lift us up. And that is what is possible right now, right here. When we fight, we strengthen the system. This is why human history repeats itself. In a world of heroes, villains and victims, someone always loses. And when we look at our history, how many times have the oppressed become the oppressors? Power plays continue to unfold behind the scenes and nothing changes until we choose to.
Philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti reminds us that “Why does your mind conform? Have you ever asked? Are you aware that you are conforming to a pattern? It doesn’t matter what that pattern is, whether you have established a pattern for yourself or it has been established for you.”
When we choose to turn down the volume on the external noise of how life should be, we might be able to hear ourselves think and feel deeply about what’s important to us. And that’s what matters most as when we each make conscious choices about how we live our life, change happens.
Many of us are walking away from the current “game” and instead of fighting, and protecting our turf, we are creating what we need; from a healthy life to systems that serve us.
“It is only when the mind is free from the old that it meets everything anew, and in that there is joy.” Jiddu Krishnamurti
Can you trust yourself and discern between wishful thinking and illusion, between expecting someone else to take care of everything and building your own foundation, and between blind trust and a deep knowing of your own needs? Isn’t it time to source your own beliefs and way of life?