The heART of Conversations
In any situation in life—whether we are spending time alone, or with co-workers, family or friends—our conversations matter. Real conversations where we listen, pause, engage, connect and flow.
To have authentic dialogue, we need a high level of trust and a sense of safety. And that takes effort to build but when we have these two elements, our exchanges reach new heights.
When looking at today’s calendar, are you having conversations or meetings? Are you connecting or updating? And if you observe the last few days, what heart blowing conversations did you have?
Is it time to rekindle the art of conversation and learn to truly listen to ourselves and each other? Too often, when we are having a conversation with someone, they interrupt us mid-sentence and ask if we have read this or that latest book, or if we are using this or that latest app, or try to tell us what we are saying without listening.
Just by articulating a few words, they have connected us back to something that is familiar to them and their intent is usually one of wanting to be helpful. And while the book or the app they mention may be valuable to us, this shows that they are not actively listening.
Neil Postman in his book, Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business, observes that we “no longer talk to each other, we entertain each other. We do not exchange ideas, we exchange images. We do not argue with propositions; we argue with good looks, celebrities and commercials.”
What is Our Opportunity When it Comes to Conversations?
We have been conditioned to focus on being smart and knowledgeable, when the opportunity is to be compassionate and empathetic. A lot happens when we start listening more fully to each other.
The more we talk with each other, the more we can understand each other. When consciously listening, we learn. When questioning, we go to places we never imagined. When we talk to understand, not keep score or argue to win, we open ourselves to possibilities. When we realize it’s not about impressing anyone, we engage and connect.
When we stop judging, correcting or needing to be heard, we open ourselves to heart-to-heart dialogue where we author new stories. And this is also very true of conversations we have with ourself.
What conversations excite you and how can you have heart blowing conversations that connect and foster trust?
For me, I am here to spark and facilitate conversations that ignite us to create what is calling us. There is a whole world waiting for us to tap into our ability to talk openly and imagine, together. Our future on this beautiful planet is human.