Saying No Helps Us Say Yes

Saying no is more than just a response, it’s a fundamental aspect of self-care and setting personal boundaries. It’s not something we learn in a society where being our true selves is yet to widely accepted.

But this theme—not doing things at our own expense—comes up a lot these days. It reminds me of Paulo Coelho’s wisdom: “When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself.”

We often put others first. It seems natural. We think it’s what’s expected. But this habit traps us. We feel guilty for taking care of ourselves. We label it as selfishness. But it’s not. It’s self-care.

Think about a friend. This friend always needs you. They demand your time and attention. But when you need them, they disappear. They take, take, and take. You end up feeling used and tired.

Or picture a colleague at work. They always need help, especially when you already have a full load. They promise to return the favor. But they never do. You’re left with extra work and are doing things at your own expense.

In these cases, are we ignoring our need? Why are we prioritizing others? It’s not generosity, it’s self-denial. It’s unhealthy. It leads to unhealthy resentment, exhaustion, and anxiety.

Self-Care is Foundational

This is why saying ‘no’ is part of healthy living and a muscle we get to develop. Setting boundaries is crucial. It’s like a shield, protecting our emotional health. We need to simply take care of ourselves. And be open about what it is we need. Our wellbeing depends on it because when we are in balance, then we can give openly and purely.

Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s about wellbeing and self-love. Our worth comes from respecting and valuing ourselves. Life gives us opportunities to prioritize our needs to stay healthy. Only then can we truly help anyone else.

Do we give ourselves permission to say No without feeling guilty, mean, or selfish?  When anyone expects us to always say Yes, they may not be considering our well-being. It’s on us to make discerning choices, ensuring we don’t do anything to our own expense. After all, feeling and being taken for granted is not healthy.

So, is it healthy to say ‘no’? Is it a way of life to be honest about what we need?

Transitioning to healthy situations, it becomes evident that with heart-centered people, there’s no room for score-keeping or hurt feelings. Here, we create healthy relationships where respect for oneself and each other is at the heart of everything. And harmony is a vibration that balances us in a healthy world where we all practice the art of self-care.